Once upon a time in a far away sea there was a merman prince named Comet and he had three beautiful princess mermaid wives. The first wife's name was Stardust. She was beautiful with long wavy platinum blonde hair, dark pink eyes, a turquoise tail, and lips the color of a blooming peony in the spring. The second wife's name was Aurora. She was a beauty with straight bright red hair, deep purple eyes, and a green tail. The third wife, Moonstone, was a lovely brunette with sapphire blue eyes, fiery red lips, and a purple tail that was faster than both of the other wives'.
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The wives of Comet escorted him to an elaborate summer celebration given by the king, and that is when things started to go wrong. The four had a great time feasting on all of the delicious foods the kingdom provided. They then danced the night away to the song of the summer which happened to be "Under the Sea." They were having such a wonderful time that Comet leaned in to kiss Stardust's cheek and when he did, a pearl from her hair fell to land into her lap. She screamed out in horrible pain and then passed out from her agony. She was taken home to be comforted by the palace's nurses. She went to bed and woke up the next day still a bit sore from the tiny pearl that had hurt her so badly the day before.
While Stardust was away resting, the other three stayed at the celebration and danced until the sun came up. During sunrise a slight sun ray peeked through the water onto the dance floor and found Aurora's skin. When she felt it touch her body, she started crying and screaming. Comet asked her what was wrong and she told him it was a sun ray that hurt her so badly. When he looked upon her skin, she had severe blisters and burns all over her skin. The palace's nurses came to take her away and put magic burn paste onto her burns and she was much better the following morning.
While Stardust and Aurora were sleeping away their pain, Moonstone and Comet stayed to enjoy the marvelous desserts and wine at the celebration. While they were enjoying their time at the party, a little fish swam by Moonstone. The fish was swimming so fast that he caused a bubble to appear in front of Moonstone's face. Just as she was taking a bite of her dessert, the bubble popped and she threw down her fork and plate. The little bubble "pop" had made such a noise that Moonstone's ears had bruises inside and out. Comet decided it was time to go home and gave Moonstone some ice to put on her ears.
The next morning Comet contemplated on whether these princesses were too delicate for him or not. He could not believe that a pearl, a sun ray, and a bubble could hurt his lovely wives so badly. He ultimately decided that he loved all of them so very much that he could not let them go. He would have to take better care of them for the rest of their days together so that he could always be with his three true loves.
Author's Note: For this story, The Three Delicate Wives, I changed the characters from humans to mermaids. I have always been obsessed with mermaids and I thought this would be a fun one to get creative with since there are three women. I also really elaborated on their looks. In the original, they did not do this at all, but I think it really helps your mind to visualize the story better when characters are described. Then I changed their names, but still kept them outer-space-themed because I really love outer space and anatomy. Their original names were Crescent, Star, and Moon. I also made the ways the women get hurt different to fit in with the sea theme. In the original, the first wife gets hurt by a flower petal, the second one by moonbeams, and the third by hearing a pestle. I thought being underwater would really express how delicate the women actually are. Underwater, everything is so much lighter and quieter, so this really intensifies the amount of delicateness these women have.They do not all get hurt at a party, but in different situations throughout one or two days. I took away the part about the goblin telling the story to the king because it would not have made sense unless one were to read the whole unit. The point of the story was originally to see if the king could solve the riddle of who was the most delicate, but I chose to not incorporate that into my story because I really wanted to focus on them all being equally delicate so that Comet could still love them all equally. In the original it is the one who is hurt by sound because she did not even have to be physically touched to get hurt.
Image Info:
Disney's Mermaid Lagoon as The Under the Sea Summer Celebration
Image Info:
Disney's Mermaid Lagoon as The Under the Sea Summer Celebration
Bibliography:
Book: Twenty-Two Goblins
Author: Arthur W. Ryder
Year Published: 1917
Web Source: The Un-Text Book
Great story! I loved the detail and imagery you used to describe the wives and life under the sea. I mean, who doesn't want to be a mermaid? I'm unfamiliar with the original, but it sounds real interesting. I wonder if this story had any kind of theme or ending moral about being delicate? It's always so interesting to me to see how strange the stories can get and still tell a valuable lesson about humanity. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteWow, your story was awesome! This was the first mermaid story I have read so far in this course. I love the theme and how you only included the important parts in your retelling. I'm interested in how someone could have three wives and not feel thrown around, but thats beside the point, and I like how you made a point to show that he did love them all equally. I cannot get over how great of a job you did! Hopefully I'll be able to read more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I am so thrilled to know that you enjoyed my story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love mermaids so much so it just seemed like a good idea to change everyone into them. It was so much more fun to change up the story a lot when I was rewriting it as opposed to just changing something small. I hope to write more stories like this in the future. Have a great OU/TX weekend :)
DeleteI liked the theme of sticking with the people closest to you through their problems. I liked the retelling but have not read the original story. I would be interested to see a perspective from the viewpoint of teaching young women to be less delicate or if it was purely a call to men to take care of their wives. After all the domestic violence news in the NFL this week, this provides a good message.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job changing up this story. I can see why you have decided to include it in your writing portfolio. The physical details given of the characters was great, but it could have been cool to see more of the actual personalities of the mermaids. I have not read the original, but from the sounds of it, it goes into much less detail than you did. The storyline was interesting and did not get repetitive like I thought it might at first. However, it would have been cool to see more of the thought process behind the mermaid prince's decision to stay with all three of his wives even though he fears he may hurt them or someone else may hurt them. I am very glad that it did not just end with them being hurt and him leaving them.
ReplyDeleteGreat story Stephanie! I also chose twenty two goblins for one of my readings, and I really like the changes you have made to this tale. I can see why you included it in your portfolio. The descriptions you gave for each of Comet' wives were fantastic; I could really imagine what each of them looked like. I know the original didn't really go into detail on this, but your addition of detailed descriptions made the story much more vivid. Removing the goblin narrator definitely helped the flow of the story when told as a standalone. Overall really great work!
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